Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. They also are the most influential invention of the twentieth century. Students can use the computer to write an account, make friends or obtain knowledge via the network system. For the business, it’s convenient to deal with the factories and stores of a foreign country. Because the advantageous computers, we can do anything with automation. Besides, it has been comprehensively used in the government and private organization.
Personally, I have a liking for computer. It takes only a few hours to learn to use the computers. When I have to exercise it to do my homework, it’s very practical. In addition, finding the information with less time makes me do the study more businesslike. In the free time, I like to dismiss the time with the computer. I am fond of reading the articles on the internet. With the computer, I prefer using it makes my temperament of the literature great strides.
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7 comments:
"It takes only a few hours to learn to use the computers"
maybe you can change into
"It takes only a few hours to learn how to use the computers"
*They also are the most influential* can change to *They are also the most influential*
"Students can use the computer to write an account"-->can write "Students can use the computers to write accounts"
"Besides, it has been comprehensively used in the government and private organization." "it has" should change into "they have".
"Because the advantageous computers,"-->"Because of the advantageous computers,"
" It takes only a few hours to learn to use the computers."->
"It takes only a few hours to learn how to use the computers."
"Because the advantageous computers,....."
"advantageous" is an adjective.
You should use "advantage".
Wow...you do really well.
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